Meesho, 19-22/8/1986, girl, Makkah, Saudi, Muslima, Univesity student in UQU, web designing, movies,  music, Photoshop, computer, The Lord of The Rings,  Pirates of the Caribbean, cartoons, photography, big bags, McDonalds, China, food, my friends, Linkin Park, Evanescence, Daddy Yankee, Reggaeton, David Blaine, Ahmad Albayd.



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 - New page / صفحة جديدة
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 - Blend Challenges
 - تعلمّنا (النظافة من الإيمان) .. ولكن مالذي يحدث؟
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Javascript Internet

Carrie Lynnes Word

© Cliff House Project

Silent Splendor


Monday, July 25, 2005

I'm little piece ..

Hi all ..
Really I'm so sorry 4 the lack of the updates .. coz I'm working on some stuff ..
I wrote very small poem:

I'm little piece ..
In the world and space ..

But I need peace ..
In every little pieces ..

And I wish see smile ..
In every little face ..

Plz tell me if I have mistakes, I'm not good writer but I wish to be .. plz I need your comments ..


Blogger MisS dOlls said...

slam sis ^^

i like ur poem it is nice ^^
but i notes 1 thing
at the 5th line in ur poem
i think u have to write it like this (( And i wish to see the smile )) i think this is better ^^
good work and keep it on ^^

10:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow! What a wonderful blog!!

12:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

nice :) there some minor mistakes though..

you shoud say "i'm a little piece"
and in the 5th line like what miss dolls said "and i wish to see the smile or a smile"
and you should say "in every little piece" instead of "pieces" or if you want you can say "in all little pieces"

don't think i'm icky.. i just want you to write better ;)

1:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

stupid me! i had some typos in there!

1. there are some mistakes

2. picky not icky!

1:07 PM  
Blogger Hopeless Poet said...

Well good as a start and the comments above showed the mistakes you have made. An advice from me, read poems from different poets specially classic poets and you will improve in writing. I can send you a link of some poetry sites if you like :)

10:27 PM  
Blogger Meeshosaur said...

OMG guyz i', so sorry .. i forgot something .. in line 6

In every little FACE not piece .. i'm changed .. sorry 4 this mistake coz i'm always in hurry a .. lol ..

MisS dOlls
Slam honey ..
ooook .. thxx sista 4 this comment ..

Sere .. THANK YOU .. i'm glad :) .. you r like it .. welcome and keep visiting ..

uha .. so i have mistake in article .. :( ..
yeah .. i appreciate that ..
thaank very much ..

OH MY GOD!!!! LOOOOOK WHO COMMENT :0 .. really feel soooo small .. the king of poetry came ..
but in the same time I'm happy .. :)
ok .. good advice .. i will working with it ..
yeah of course i need the link from your experience ..
thank alot Hopeless Poet 4 your comment and advicing ..

11:26 PM  

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